Oh what next!?!?!?!

Well, as of now, my Internet and phone have been shut off at home. I still don't have a car, and i don't know how much longer i can continue to rely on people giving me rides to work :( My check was only for 20 hours this week and now i cant even afford to pay my rent. To top it off every time my son comes back from my ex his behavior is increasingly worse. He told me this week that his daddy was sad because i wanted him (my son) and he started crying. What in hell is wrong with that man?!?!!? Is he really that blind or ignorant that he cant see or understand what saying things like that does to our son? He has been thru enough! I'm so sick of everything right now. How on earth did my life end up this way? I'm almost 30 years old and i feel as though I'm some 18 yr old kid who has nothing but a string of disaster behind me. It was not supposed to be this way. Not for me. I always had it all together and i can not for the life of me understand how things have turned out this way. I just want to crawl into bed and cry for days....