Finding peace with it all

Its been a while since my last post, so I'll just catch up. Its been almost a year and a half since i became single. I'm finally at a place where I'm glad I'm no longer in that relationship and can really see how toxic it was for both me and my son. My son is adjusting well. Ex and his new gf had their baby about 2 1/2 months ago and it hasn't really bothered me as bad as i thought it would. We finally went to court and i got child support court ordered and i feel SO much better about that. I don't have to look at the smug look on his face when he handed me the money orders, or work around what is convenient for him. The court process was as expected, he made it as difficult as possible and of course once it was over had made a fool of himself in front of the child support enforcement worker and the judge, lol! I can't help but wonder what i was thinking being with him. He still makes every little thing as difficult as possible. For thanksgiving for 4 days in a row which was killer for me having him gone that long. My son is my life and without him here i feel lost and don't know what to do with myself! When he came home he came right up to me and said " I'm very sad, i want mommy" and gave me a big, long, grateful hug. I know that the every other weekend visitation is truly what is best for him! His fathers solution to everything is to spank. I do not like to use negative reinforcement. Don't get me wrong, i do believe in spanking when necessary, but i don't think its appropriate for every situation. I'm still out of work and school, until i get my tax money and can get a car! I can't wait to get my life back on track. It has been really nice to spend so much time with my son, but i really want to get back to work. this time off has given me some new perspective on things though. I know that i will only take a job working 1st shift so that i can be with my son in the evenings and on weekends. I will not take another job that keeps me away from him for so long! I truly believe that in the darkest times, you receive the greatest answers. I pray every day that life works out well for my son and i, and i KNOW that it will as long as i stay strong and focused.